It’s supposed to be a cold, quiet night conducive to reflection, but the sound of rain , adds up to some noise, but makes it much more a reflective night.

I believe that I have survived the rainy days just fine, despite the occasional outbursts of discontent. Oh, I just so want more brighter and jollier days. I miss the gorgeous sunsets of Boracay that seduces me to stay in it forever.

I believe that a few more months’ worth of sleepless nights and nonstop working would take me there in no time. In order to escape this season’s gloomy and melancholic chants to my ear, I chose myself to drown , not in the sound of rain, but in the sounds of keyboards, phone calls, lively chatters with my newfound friends, and whips of the makeup brush. I just wish that my mind would fill itself with so much stuff that there would not be any space left for the idle mind to wander.

A friend gave me some sound good advice, that I cannot escape the feeling of emptiness forever, and if I must grieve, I should. Kind as she was, I choose to keep myself all filled up, no matter how wrong the contents that I would be acquiring to fill myself up. Sometimes, people become desperate to feel full, that they could take anything that would help them feel past the hunger.

I want to stand up, all by myself. All your gravity that’s pulling me down gives me no reason to appreciate the beauty of it all. So, I choose to stand up. I set myself free.

Gravity - Sarah Bareilles

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do
I’ll still feel you here ’til the moment I’m gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much
than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

Set me free, leave me be.
I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I’m supposed to be.
But you’re on to me and all over me.

You loved me ’cause I’m fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while
and all my fragile strength is gone.

Set me free, leave me be.
I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall,
just the way I’m supposed to be.
But you’re on to me and all over me.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you’re
everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you’re neither friend nor foe though I can’t seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you’re keeping me down.