My heart ached while listening to a love song. Somehow, that most neglected part of my system demanded attention. I was surprised that it was still beating, as quiet as it is. Too quiet that I thought it was long dead in the cold.

I know I still yearn to be in the light and enjoy the warmth, but I know that nothing still awaits me over there. I am delighting over the darkness now, that despite the emptiness, I know I can fill it up with stuff that I want to. They may not be the healthiest fillers on earth, but I know that they’ll do for a while. They’ll do.

I’ve been provoked to believe in otherwise, and so whereas I refuse to face any pain right now, and just live the moment, by not thinking, and keeping my guards up, I’m fine. I am. Really.