I don’t know if I should consider time a friend, or foe.

The clock ticks too fast lately that I don’t even remember my dreams anymore. It’s as if I hardly sleep anymore.

I’ve been rushing, overexerting my brain, ignoring my heart, and just riding the waves in this crazy season.

I know that the time is in my favor, for another month has almost passed, and I am getting closer to getting away. It’s unbelievable that by the end of this year, I will be given a choice. Yes, a choice to stop from all this self-imposed madness, and have myself exiled just for some air to breathe.

Mixed emotions, because I am enjoying so much of this rush in my blood, the adrenalin, the stress, because it keeps me alive. I thrive with activity, I am most alive when I am running around, getting confused on what to do next.

What if I decide that I love this rush, albeit unhealthy, to decide not to stop and go on like this? Will it kill me?

For all I know, I have already decided on when to stop. And when I tell myself to stop, I hope my body’s sane enough to follow.